Gaining Your Family’s Support

November 26, 2009

One of the toughest things my clients encounter when making a change to their lifestyle is gaining support from their family and friends. The people in our lives become accustomed to our regular patterns of behaviour and we underestimate how their beliefs about our life can impact our ability to make change.

Think about the last time you tried to do something new in your life – maybe it was starting to exercise more regularly, or trying to eat healthier, or maybe you decided not to go out for a “puff” with your colleagues at break time. Do you remember what people said to you when first told them what you were doing? Did it sound something like “why?” or “what for?” or “oh sure, good luck with that”?

Why do you think people respond like this? Surely our loved ones don’t wish us to live unhealthy lifestyles. It seems impossible to imagine that the people we love would not give us the same support in reaching our goals as we would give to them. No, it’s not very likely at all.

It’s more likely they simply do not understand our motivation for change nor do they appreciate how valuable a resource they can be for you. As I said earlier, we also underestimate their impact on our success. Remember that many of us are overly cautious when it comes to change. We can imagine the dialogue in our partners’ head going something like “well if she stops eating out as much, then I have to stop eating out as much too”. Our changes have an impact on other people, and it’s likely this is the road block that your partner is feeling.

In order to be successful we need to understand our own motivation for change, and to communicate this to the important people in our lives, so that they understand the impact on you, and your expectations of them.

Try this “Action Plan for Gaining Your Family’s Support“, taken from my No More Excuses Workshop, next time you need to get the team on board with your lifestyle change. Work through the activity and share it with the people you value most in your quest for change.

~Michelle